So today is the last day of the month and I thought I would share my views about something that has bothered me for a while: why do women hate Giada DeLaurentis?
Well, it is simple really. She is hot, she is stacked and the girl can cook. Hell, even her mom is hot. Every woman that I know tells me how much they hate her. My sister calls her "The Skinny Bitch." A co-worker says that she does not like how Giada treats her relatives.
1) Giada's cleaveage is fantastic; just the right size, not too big, not too small and not lopsided like Racheal Ray.
2) Giada knows how to cook, what man wouldn't like a hot woman who can cook?
So the green eyed monster rears her ugly head again; women hate her because she is hot and talented.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Meanwhile on planet earth....
I am so sick of this economy, and how the actions of others is effecting me. Sure, I could have bought a town home in 2006 with an ARM-but I didn't. My income just isn't what it needs to be and I didn't have 20% down. But that didn't stop my fellow American's from "living the dream" and buying a $300,000 home with a $50,000 a year salary and no money down.
Wake up people, it started in the 1980's and has only become worse, and by that I mean materialism. I look back at my grandparent's generation. They bought a house in 1953, finished the basement when they had more kids and by 1983 the house was paid in full. But by the 1980's everybody wanted bigger and better. Live in a house for five years then upgrade. Everybody wants to better the Jones' by getting a massive 4,000 sq ft home with granite countertops and a three car garage.
Some people I know call me old fashioned, but I really believe we need to get back to basics. One parent should work (and not necessarily the man) and the other (not necessarily the woman) should stay with the kids to make sure they do their school work and stay out of trouble. We don't need to live in houses with powder rooms and studies or three car garages. We don't need to lease a Mercedes-Benz or Lexus every three years for the sake of status (by the way, how does paying way too much for a Toyota with leather interior count as status? The L on the grill should stand for Loser which looks a lot like the word poser).
Who are these people who took risky loans? The same people that blame the mortgage broker and bank for giving it to them. The same people who file bankruptcy and then demand new credit as if it is a right. Nobody takes responsibility for their own actions and it makes me sick.
Wake up people, it started in the 1980's and has only become worse, and by that I mean materialism. I look back at my grandparent's generation. They bought a house in 1953, finished the basement when they had more kids and by 1983 the house was paid in full. But by the 1980's everybody wanted bigger and better. Live in a house for five years then upgrade. Everybody wants to better the Jones' by getting a massive 4,000 sq ft home with granite countertops and a three car garage.
Some people I know call me old fashioned, but I really believe we need to get back to basics. One parent should work (and not necessarily the man) and the other (not necessarily the woman) should stay with the kids to make sure they do their school work and stay out of trouble. We don't need to live in houses with powder rooms and studies or three car garages. We don't need to lease a Mercedes-Benz or Lexus every three years for the sake of status (by the way, how does paying way too much for a Toyota with leather interior count as status? The L on the grill should stand for Loser which looks a lot like the word poser).
Who are these people who took risky loans? The same people that blame the mortgage broker and bank for giving it to them. The same people who file bankruptcy and then demand new credit as if it is a right. Nobody takes responsibility for their own actions and it makes me sick.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Restroom Etiquette
I am always shocked and amazed by how many adults lack even the basic understanding of bathroom etiquette.
Maybe I am weird, but I don't believe that you should do a #2 at the bathrooms at work. I don't want to smell my co-workers stuff and I don't want them smelling mine. Yes, sometimes it is unavoidable like when you eat at an all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet at 11:00 in the morning and then return to work. But this is where the Bathroom of Shame comes into play. Every medium to large office has one; the bathroom that hardly anybody uses because it is out of the way. In my office, there is a bathroom as such located on the 1st floor near the south parking lot. If you need to do the #2 at work, this is the place to do it. It is funny, sometimes I will walk by the bathroom's of shame (women's and men's separate, of course) and someone will walk out and they have a guilty look on their face. Guilt is good though, shame is good. #2 should be shamefull even though everybody does it.
There has been a problem both on the 2nd floor men's room and now the 3rd floor men's room where someone is urinating on the floor near the urinal. Now, I could understand a stray drop making it to the floor, but a puddle? Someone should take this guys Man Card away, he needs to sit on the pot like a girl; he doesn't deserve to stand. The scary thing is that since this has occured on both floors, it must be two different men.
Cell phones: Don't use your damn cell phone in the bathroom, it is so rude both the person you are speaking with but also for me. I don't want whomever you are speaking to hearing me take a leak. Ever hear a guy piss? It is an unmistakable sound and very loud.
There is a guy on the 2nd floor who will go nameless, that uses the first stall. The way our bathrooms are set up here at work is that there is one urinal, and two stalls with the furthest being the handicap stall. I cannot tell you how many times I have gone in to use the urinal and this dude is in the stall nearest to the urinal and the handicap stall is vacant. Now, he should have used the Bathroom of Shame as mentioned above, but at the very least he should give the guy at the urinal a buffer. The worst part is that there are tiles on the walls, so if you are standing there doing your business, you can see shadows of the guy in the first stall.
I have heard from several female co-workers that things are worse in the women's bathroom. If recall correctly, I was 14 before I figured out that women even used the bathroom-seriously. Women will have you believe that they don't so it but they do. And boy do they. This one time, we received a company wide email reminding the women of the building to please not flush feminine products down the toilet. As I understand it, some women's restrooms have a trash can aparatus in the stalls for used feminine products. God I am so glad I am not a woman.
Finally, I would like to say flush for Christ sake! We are not in the middle of a drought so the yellow does not need to mellow.
Maybe I am weird, but I don't believe that you should do a #2 at the bathrooms at work. I don't want to smell my co-workers stuff and I don't want them smelling mine. Yes, sometimes it is unavoidable like when you eat at an all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet at 11:00 in the morning and then return to work. But this is where the Bathroom of Shame comes into play. Every medium to large office has one; the bathroom that hardly anybody uses because it is out of the way. In my office, there is a bathroom as such located on the 1st floor near the south parking lot. If you need to do the #2 at work, this is the place to do it. It is funny, sometimes I will walk by the bathroom's of shame (women's and men's separate, of course) and someone will walk out and they have a guilty look on their face. Guilt is good though, shame is good. #2 should be shamefull even though everybody does it.
There has been a problem both on the 2nd floor men's room and now the 3rd floor men's room where someone is urinating on the floor near the urinal. Now, I could understand a stray drop making it to the floor, but a puddle? Someone should take this guys Man Card away, he needs to sit on the pot like a girl; he doesn't deserve to stand. The scary thing is that since this has occured on both floors, it must be two different men.
Cell phones: Don't use your damn cell phone in the bathroom, it is so rude both the person you are speaking with but also for me. I don't want whomever you are speaking to hearing me take a leak. Ever hear a guy piss? It is an unmistakable sound and very loud.
There is a guy on the 2nd floor who will go nameless, that uses the first stall. The way our bathrooms are set up here at work is that there is one urinal, and two stalls with the furthest being the handicap stall. I cannot tell you how many times I have gone in to use the urinal and this dude is in the stall nearest to the urinal and the handicap stall is vacant. Now, he should have used the Bathroom of Shame as mentioned above, but at the very least he should give the guy at the urinal a buffer. The worst part is that there are tiles on the walls, so if you are standing there doing your business, you can see shadows of the guy in the first stall.
I have heard from several female co-workers that things are worse in the women's bathroom. If recall correctly, I was 14 before I figured out that women even used the bathroom-seriously. Women will have you believe that they don't so it but they do. And boy do they. This one time, we received a company wide email reminding the women of the building to please not flush feminine products down the toilet. As I understand it, some women's restrooms have a trash can aparatus in the stalls for used feminine products. God I am so glad I am not a woman.
Finally, I would like to say flush for Christ sake! We are not in the middle of a drought so the yellow does not need to mellow.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Dancing With the Stars
So I saw an advertisement for the new season of Dancing With the Stars. First of all, I can't believe some of you people who actually watch this crap. Anway, I noticed that Lance Bass was going to be on the show and a few things crossed my mind:
1) Since he has come out of the closet, will he be paired with a man or a woman?
2) Have you ever noticed that he looks like a lesbian? You know, those bulging eyes and that short spiked blond hair? I can't tell you how many lesbians I have seen that look like that.
3) Will he ever get to go to outer space?
4) How did he ever get to be a "star" and when will he go away?
5) Why do you people actually watch this????
1) Since he has come out of the closet, will he be paired with a man or a woman?
2) Have you ever noticed that he looks like a lesbian? You know, those bulging eyes and that short spiked blond hair? I can't tell you how many lesbians I have seen that look like that.
3) Will he ever get to go to outer space?
4) How did he ever get to be a "star" and when will he go away?
5) Why do you people actually watch this????
I know what you did nine months ago
So, this topic is really what started the whole random blog thing. I was telling Jaime about how when people bring their babies into work to show them off I think of things that others might not. What are these things you ask? Well, for starters think about how babies even come to be. That's right, sex. So, when I see these babies and the glowing and beaming mother, I think to myself, "I know what you did nine months ago!" And if that weren't enough, I think about people's sex faces. You know, people have that sex face, eyes roll into the back of your head, eye lids can either be halfway open or all the way open and even closed; mouths can be wide open and drooling. Then there are the sounds of sex, whimpers, screams and even the occasional sound of friction (think about the sound of moving your straw in and out really fast next time you get a value meal at a fast food restaurant). So, imagine your co-workers sex faces the next time they bring their kids in to the office!
Immature? Of course.
Strange? You know it.
Do I care what you think? Nope.
You know what is strange though? When humans are having sex, we don't really think about anything, it's like everything shuts off. Which is good because if we thought about how funny the other person's sex face is during sex the end result could be bad.
Immature? Of course.
Strange? You know it.
Do I care what you think? Nope.
You know what is strange though? When humans are having sex, we don't really think about anything, it's like everything shuts off. Which is good because if we thought about how funny the other person's sex face is during sex the end result could be bad.
Rhode Island Boy
Okay, so I live in an apartment complex with lots of interesting characters. Well, my neighbor is perhaps the most interesting. I moved in to my apartment on 11/3/06 and he was already here. Well, he has this Audi (Naziwagen) and it had Rhode Island license plates. So I call him Rhode Island Boy. That will serve as your background into him.
Well, he has this friend, drives an Xterra and if it weren't for his tan, would be an albino because his hair is a very unnatural shade of blond. Anyway, I have noticed that the albino has been staying at Rhode Island Boy's (RIB) apartment lately. And yes, the thought that they might be more then friends has crossed my mind, but they both have girlfriends. I am sure, though, that they have at least seen each other naked. So, RIB must have some exciting job because he gets to work from home but he also goes on weeklong trips out of town presumably for business. Well, I think the Albino lives there now, if I were evil I would turn them into the leasing office. The Albino, who has his own car, has been driving RIB's Malibu, because RIB is out of town. Now, I like my friends, but they aren't driving my car unless I am too drunk to drive it myself. I just think this is very odd. Maybe RIB doesn't know that the Albino is driving his car or what but they are too close. It is very odd.
Well, he has this friend, drives an Xterra and if it weren't for his tan, would be an albino because his hair is a very unnatural shade of blond. Anyway, I have noticed that the albino has been staying at Rhode Island Boy's (RIB) apartment lately. And yes, the thought that they might be more then friends has crossed my mind, but they both have girlfriends. I am sure, though, that they have at least seen each other naked. So, RIB must have some exciting job because he gets to work from home but he also goes on weeklong trips out of town presumably for business. Well, I think the Albino lives there now, if I were evil I would turn them into the leasing office. The Albino, who has his own car, has been driving RIB's Malibu, because RIB is out of town. Now, I like my friends, but they aren't driving my car unless I am too drunk to drive it myself. I just think this is very odd. Maybe RIB doesn't know that the Albino is driving his car or what but they are too close. It is very odd.
Trauma...Jaime stole my idea/Best Buy Tirade
So I told Jaime about this great idea I had about blogging about random things; well, she goes and does it first. She did; however, give me ample warnings about starting this blog up. I was being lazy and I wanted to get my new computer set up. I have had the thing now for almost two weeks. I actually did take it out of the box this morning but I was very cross because it didn't come with a back-up disc! What the hell kind of company doesn't include the back-up disc????
So now my happy ass has to call Best Buy to find out how to get one. If it is too expensive or too much of a pain, then I am returning the damn computer. I only bought the stupid thing because I can work from home but my current computer operates on Windows 98-which as you all know is ancient and does not support much of anything anymore.
So now my happy ass has to call Best Buy to find out how to get one. If it is too expensive or too much of a pain, then I am returning the damn computer. I only bought the stupid thing because I can work from home but my current computer operates on Windows 98-which as you all know is ancient and does not support much of anything anymore.
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