Contractors

There should be a rule that the contractors at XYZ Company cannot come in before 8 o'clock. They are driving me nuts; there is the know-it-all guy who is very overweight and drives a gay VW GTI with European style front license plate and then there is the Asian guy who is constantly blowing his nose! ARGH.

Commercials

Most people turn the channel when a commercial comes on. Sometimes I do, but not always. I am lazy like that; however, some commercials really make me shake my head or just plain make me angry:

1) Dodge Journey commercial; these stupid black and white animated people and a dog are schleping it in a new Journey. There is this horrible, repetitive music playing and then the animated kid looks out the window at the viewer! He makes me so mad I want to punch his little smiling face.
2) These new Wendy's commercials with the skinny guy and the guy in the blue worker outfit who is always teaching the skinny guy something about Wendy's (very Karate Kid). Okay, they are ambiguously gay, enough said.
3) These new VW Routan commercials really piss me off. Stupid, washed-up Brooke Sheilds talks about how people are having kids just so they can drive the "German-engineered" minivan. Well, it is actually a Chrysler built in Canada. Where is the German engineering?
4) Toyota commercial for the 0% APR. They did a horrible remake of the 1980's song Saved By Zero by The Fixx. I hate when people re-make 80's songs.
5) The commercial where that ugly lady is in her dining room and the slasher movie guy is there with a chainsaw. The ugly lady tells the guy that he is really scary but she is going to block him from the TV so her precious, even uglier kids don't get scared. F*ck this $hit! How did she even have kids? Why are parents these days so damn protective of everything?
6) Saturn Red Tag Sale commerical; guy walks into the Saturn dealership and looks at the Vue and Sky roadster then walks out and looks at the Saturn sign as if he is in disbelief that Saturn could build these kinds of cars. First of all, the stupid idget surely would have done his homework before going to a dealership, so these cars should not have been a shock. Jesus Christ. And then it shows this man and this woman who are salespeople and they are like "Oh, it happens alot." First of all the bitch looks like a housewife-the kind that thinks she deserves a medal for bearing children. That commercial made me mad.
7) Ace Hardware commercials: there are several, it starts out with these Ace Hardware employees looking at a frazzled customer and then they have a flashback to when they also had a home improvement nightmare. Okay, 1) how the hell would someone working at Ace Hardware be able to afford a home. 2) the blond lady with the blue eyes that works for Ace, she looks Aryian or at least Mormon. Ever notice how many Mormons are blond? 3) nobody has customer service like that, if I walked in all frazzled nobody would come help, and if they did it would be a bored teenager ticked off at his paren't for making him work.

High School Musical

Okay, now, I will admit I am pushing 30, but I do not understand how the youth of today can actually stand this High School Musical business. It is so lame, and fake and so not how high school really is.
And now they have High School Musical on Ice! What the holy hell is that about????

When I take over the world High School Musical and all things related to it, the DVD's, posters, and dolls will be destroyed.

Camry says to Jaime "buy me!"

So my friend Jaime, who also works for XYZ Company, is the biggest cheapskate that I have ever met. If she weren't Asian you would think she was Scottish or Jewish the way she holds on to money.

So Jaimie drives an almost 17 year old car. It is in excellent shape but it is getting on in age and she keeps putting money into it.

I told her that right now Toyota is offering 0% APR for 36 months. I thought that would appeal to her cheap ass sensibilities. She states that she would rather have a home instead of a new car. And I do agree and she is smart for doing so. If I had not bought a car when I did I would have a lot more saved up right now. But seriously, she needs a new car and the loan would help her get a house anyway and when is Toyota ever going to offer this 0% again? She is so stubborn.

A pinhead, gay supervisor and a clueless supervisor walk into a cafe....

Sorry, there is no punchline here but I am pissed! So, I have been good all week so I decided that I was going to go get breakfast at the XYZ Company cafe. I even raced these two ladies down to the cafe to be sure that I got there first. I grabbed a bagel for a breakfast sandwich (egg, cheese and bacon smothered in hot sauce). So I give the bagel to the cook and we go to the break room to get sodas. We get back and all these people have showed up ordering these God-awful breakfast burritos and they all have special instructions; "extra bacon" "no cheese please" "potatoes in the side please." You know what morons? This isn't Burger King, you can't have it your way.
Because of all the commotion, the cook got all frazzled and forgot about Jaime and my bagel so they burned! I go to the bagel table and the only ones left are the sweet ones.
Guess what? The gay supervisor took two!!! And the pinhead got the last savory bagel. I was so pissed!!! And its Friday, that means jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers and a hat. Nope, not the gay supervisor, he is wearing designer jeans, a button up club shirt tucked in and these weird looking black shoe/boot things. He must be going out to a club after work.
Now, maybe it is karma because I raced those ladies downstairs, but that was kind of a joke, and Jaime didn't do it and she got the shaft too, so who knows. ARGH.

Parking Saga Continues

Yesterday evening I look out the window and I see this peice of crap pre-1999 VW Jetta barreling down the road (it sounded, and looked like it had seen better days). Well the moron parks right next to my little car. I was so pissed. I knew that I had seen that car before but it had never parked anywhere near me before. I recognized it as being a car that usually parks on the corner on the other side of my apartment building. His wife drives an ugly ass Nissan Sentra-those things started getting ugly back in 1995 and Nissan has done very little to make it better. Anway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so this peice of shit Jetta. I have no freaking idea why he parked by me, he had to really trek it to get to his apartment too. If he continues to do this I will complain to management LOL. Seriously though, I will. It was so random and far away from his apartment that I just can't fathom it.
This time of year (snow season, which lasts 6 long months in Colorado) I have to fight for my parking spot. Crazy Cat Lady with her beat up Accord coupe with an Obama sticker likes to jack my spot (I think she is another one of those work at home peeps), the Asian family used to jack my spot but they moved and sometimes Rhode Island Boy will park his Naziwagen in my spot and leave it for months on end. Why do they do this? Because where I park gets a lot of sun, so in the winter, people park there so the sun melts their cars. In the summer, forget it, nobody parks there. They are kind of like fair weather parkers.
And then on Tuesday, I drove my Jeep to work. When I drive that car to work I take two spaces. Well, Chicago Lady, who also has a newer Jeep takes two spaces as well. So we have an unspoken agreement that we park near each other with both of us taking two spaces. Well, XYZ Company is bucking the national trend and is hiring. They always have to overhire because so many people quit during training. In the meantime though, the parking lot has really filled up. Well this bitch, and I call her Jesus Christ because she believes that she should qualify for Sainthood even though she is the worst sort of born again hypocrite, yeah, she parked right in between Chicago Lady and myself and of course, my Jeep was on Jesus Christ's driver's side door. I chose not to be pissed about it but I did check my right side to be sure there was no damage. By the way, there were other spots available. It is known that I and this woman, Jesus Christ, do not like each other, so I believe sometimes she does it to piss me off.
People really tick me off and I would love to get inside their heads to know what they are thinking about.

I am evil

So, last week at XYZ Company we had a contractor start working. Where my cubical is I have nobody behind me and the third floor is refreshingly quiet. Well, they decided to put the contractor right behind me.
Well, a woman who has worked for XYZ Company forever is in charge of the contractors, well she decided to have a meeting at his desk. My God they were distracting the hell out of me. And the meeting went on forever. So I got up and left my desk for a while and on my way to the breakroom there was an open meeting room. I go back to my deks and then the meeting finally ended and they left the area. So my co-worker and I exchanged sighs and a few words. Well, he comes back and introduces himself and said that he was sorry for being too loud and if it happens again we should let him know. So right away I feel like the world's biggest jackass. I mean, here is this poor guy trying to make a living. He comes into XYZ Company (which is a strange company as it is) and then he has to deal with people who have territorial issues(me). Instead of making him feel welcomed we made him feel uncomfortable. Needless to say, I felt terrible. Despite what people may think, I do have a heart.
Well, today, he comes in with leftoever Halloween candy. He put in in a bowl on his desk for everyone. That made me feel even worse! And now, I can't eat it because I feel so damn guilty about being a jackass to him. If anything, I should have been happy that some more men are working here. It is a total estrogen fest here at XYZ Company.
Argh.