So, having a blog is harder then I thought it would be and I have been neglecting my poor blog. Either I have been really busy or I am more boring then previously thought.
The other day I was walking down a hallway at XYZ Company and I noticed the fire alarm pull. Ever notice how enticing they make those things? They are at arms reach and bright red. Sometimes I actually really have to fight myself NOT to pull the damn things. There would be an added bonus for pulling one of course. At XYZ Company there is an Emergency Response Team that consists of supervisors and managers in various departments from each of the three floors. Some of them take this added responsibility very seriously and the job includes a handsome orange vest. I enjoy a silent laugh to myself seeing them in their orange vests walking around the building with their walkie talkies thinking that they are important. Power will do strange things to a person and it is another reason why I would not want to be a supervisor or manager at XYZ Company.
That is all for October 2008. But I will leave you with some random facts:
By 12/31/09 everybody born in the 1970's will be in their 30's, if only for a few hours.
Starting on 1/1/10 people born in 1970 will be turning 40 and the best decade ever, the 1980's will begin to be 30 years ago.....
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Beyond random thought for the day
Ever have one of those "oh wow, crazy" moments? This morning I was getting ready to take a shower and I looked in the mirror and saw my belly button. I thought to myself, oh yeah I forgot that I had a belly button. The belly button is like Delaware, you totally forget that it exists until one day you are all, "oh yeah."
And then you think about how everybody has a belly button; some are innies and some are outties. I think I read somewhere that most babies now are outties-makes them easier to clean I suppose. You would really be surprised to see what collects in an innie belly button, lots of fuzz, almost like lint.
Or like fat people, I mean really fat people like the kind you see on Discovery Channel-they have stretched out belly buttons.
Some people peirce their belly buttons and some get a tattoo around the belly button, or if you are my sister you have done both.
I will have to take a mental note to myself to look for people's belly buttons next summer at the pool.
And then you think about how everybody has a belly button; some are innies and some are outties. I think I read somewhere that most babies now are outties-makes them easier to clean I suppose. You would really be surprised to see what collects in an innie belly button, lots of fuzz, almost like lint.
Or like fat people, I mean really fat people like the kind you see on Discovery Channel-they have stretched out belly buttons.
Some people peirce their belly buttons and some get a tattoo around the belly button, or if you are my sister you have done both.
I will have to take a mental note to myself to look for people's belly buttons next summer at the pool.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Cute
Ever notice how women overuse the word 'cute?'
"Oh, what a cute sweater." "Cute shoes...."
Maybe I am crazy but how are women's shoes and sweaters cute? When I think of the word cute, I think of a baby, or baby shoes or a dog.
I have even noticed that women will give a fake compliment "cute shoes" even though they are hideous. I have verified that women do this from many vagina-bearing sources.
Sometimes it is fun to go to the mall and watch women shop. They get this glazed-over look in their eyes and it is like all thought processes in their brains shut off temporarily. It works both ways of course, men get the same look at the automotive section at Wal-Mart and at Sports Authority. The difference though, is that men don't think to ourselves, 'These floormats would look cute in my truck." Or "This UnderArmour would make a cute outfit for the gym."
Once I take over the world, I would end programming on We, Oxygen and Lifetime and then fine people for misusing the word cute, in that order.
"Oh, what a cute sweater." "Cute shoes...."
Maybe I am crazy but how are women's shoes and sweaters cute? When I think of the word cute, I think of a baby, or baby shoes or a dog.
I have even noticed that women will give a fake compliment "cute shoes" even though they are hideous. I have verified that women do this from many vagina-bearing sources.
Sometimes it is fun to go to the mall and watch women shop. They get this glazed-over look in their eyes and it is like all thought processes in their brains shut off temporarily. It works both ways of course, men get the same look at the automotive section at Wal-Mart and at Sports Authority. The difference though, is that men don't think to ourselves, 'These floormats would look cute in my truck." Or "This UnderArmour would make a cute outfit for the gym."
Once I take over the world, I would end programming on We, Oxygen and Lifetime and then fine people for misusing the word cute, in that order.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Parking Lot Etiquette
This really ties in to the bathroom etiquette as described in one of my September ramblings.
Parking lot etiquette: is there such a thing? In my humble opinion, yes. Or at least there should be. In the six years I have been employed at XYZ company, I have noticed that people are morons. I park far away from the building's entrance both for exercise but also to protect my car(s). For many years, nobody parked near me, for whatever reason. However, in the past two years people have found where I park to be the next big thing. And even when there are several spaces away from my car, people feel the need to park right next to it. Now, for my older car, I park near these trees so he gets some shade but with my Jeep, I have no shame, I have taken to parking in two spaces because I will not tolerate any damange to my car because of someone elses reckless stupidity. And it actually happened. The first week I had my new Jeep, someone here at work made a dent in my right passenger door.
What are the rules of parking lot etiquette?
1. Don't be a moron
2. If you see that there are several other spaces available when you come in, don't chose the one right next to my car! Duh!
3. If you see that someone has pretty much "called" a certain space, meaning for years they park in the same spot, don't jack it from them.
4. Don't be a moron
5. If you are a man and you park next to another car despite several other spaces being available, think of it as the urinal test. You wouldn't walk up next to a urinal in use by another man if several others are available. It's called the buffer zone, learn it, live it.
6. If you are a woman, car's are not social animals, so you don't need to join the herd and park next to each other-it isn't like a Friday night girls bathroom stall break.
7. If you see that someone has parked in two spaces and there are other spaces available, don't park in between the spaces!
8. Don't be a moron
9. If you simply must park next to someone, only open your door wide enough to get out without hitting the car next to you!
10.If you cannot open the door without hitting the car next to you, lose some weight.
Most people think I am nuts when I talk about parking lot etiquette, but I have every reason to when you consider how much damage my cars have endured in their lives due to the reckless stupidity of others.
Parking lot etiquette: is there such a thing? In my humble opinion, yes. Or at least there should be. In the six years I have been employed at XYZ company, I have noticed that people are morons. I park far away from the building's entrance both for exercise but also to protect my car(s). For many years, nobody parked near me, for whatever reason. However, in the past two years people have found where I park to be the next big thing. And even when there are several spaces away from my car, people feel the need to park right next to it. Now, for my older car, I park near these trees so he gets some shade but with my Jeep, I have no shame, I have taken to parking in two spaces because I will not tolerate any damange to my car because of someone elses reckless stupidity. And it actually happened. The first week I had my new Jeep, someone here at work made a dent in my right passenger door.
What are the rules of parking lot etiquette?
1. Don't be a moron
2. If you see that there are several other spaces available when you come in, don't chose the one right next to my car! Duh!
3. If you see that someone has pretty much "called" a certain space, meaning for years they park in the same spot, don't jack it from them.
4. Don't be a moron
5. If you are a man and you park next to another car despite several other spaces being available, think of it as the urinal test. You wouldn't walk up next to a urinal in use by another man if several others are available. It's called the buffer zone, learn it, live it.
6. If you are a woman, car's are not social animals, so you don't need to join the herd and park next to each other-it isn't like a Friday night girls bathroom stall break.
7. If you see that someone has parked in two spaces and there are other spaces available, don't park in between the spaces!
8. Don't be a moron
9. If you simply must park next to someone, only open your door wide enough to get out without hitting the car next to you!
10.If you cannot open the door without hitting the car next to you, lose some weight.
Most people think I am nuts when I talk about parking lot etiquette, but I have every reason to when you consider how much damage my cars have endured in their lives due to the reckless stupidity of others.
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