Parking Lot Etiquette

This really ties in to the bathroom etiquette as described in one of my September ramblings.

Parking lot etiquette: is there such a thing? In my humble opinion, yes. Or at least there should be. In the six years I have been employed at XYZ company, I have noticed that people are morons. I park far away from the building's entrance both for exercise but also to protect my car(s). For many years, nobody parked near me, for whatever reason. However, in the past two years people have found where I park to be the next big thing. And even when there are several spaces away from my car, people feel the need to park right next to it. Now, for my older car, I park near these trees so he gets some shade but with my Jeep, I have no shame, I have taken to parking in two spaces because I will not tolerate any damange to my car because of someone elses reckless stupidity. And it actually happened. The first week I had my new Jeep, someone here at work made a dent in my right passenger door.

What are the rules of parking lot etiquette?
1. Don't be a moron
2. If you see that there are several other spaces available when you come in, don't chose the one right next to my car! Duh!
3. If you see that someone has pretty much "called" a certain space, meaning for years they park in the same spot, don't jack it from them.
4. Don't be a moron
5. If you are a man and you park next to another car despite several other spaces being available, think of it as the urinal test. You wouldn't walk up next to a urinal in use by another man if several others are available. It's called the buffer zone, learn it, live it.
6. If you are a woman, car's are not social animals, so you don't need to join the herd and park next to each other-it isn't like a Friday night girls bathroom stall break.
7. If you see that someone has parked in two spaces and there are other spaces available, don't park in between the spaces!
8. Don't be a moron
9. If you simply must park next to someone, only open your door wide enough to get out without hitting the car next to you!
10.If you cannot open the door without hitting the car next to you, lose some weight.

Most people think I am nuts when I talk about parking lot etiquette, but I have every reason to when you consider how much damage my cars have endured in their lives due to the reckless stupidity of others.